Fix You
by TheMagicWorks
Summary: Robin couldn't sense much in that room. Emptiness. Darkness. A longing for an escape. All she could feel was the numbing cold creeping around her. Hairs began to stand on end. The room was badly lit, a light was flickering sharply, her head was reeling.


Robin couldn't sense much in that room. Emptiness. Darkness. A longing for an escape. All she could feel was the numbing cold creeping around her. Hairs began to stand on end. The room was badly lit, a light was flickering sharply, her head was reeling.

From the corner of the room, Robin heard something dripping and besides the buzz of the light bulb, it was all she could hear. A slight light peered through the closed blinds. She was not ready to open up yet. She often just sat in her bedroom, to escape from the distractions of everyday life, away from the pointless conversations, disappointing job, crappy repeating tv shows and the ever changing relationships. She came just for peace at first, some quiet time to herself, but then it got obsessive.

Lately she'd become depressed again. She remembered when Lily, Marshall and Ted found her crying in MacLaren's toilets. When she'd cried against the wall outside the apartment because Barney was going on about some new girl in bed. When she'd sat on the kitchen floor and cried into her food. Now she sat here, alone in the cold of her room, and nobody had found her like this. She thought about how truly worthless she was. And she'd just realized that if she disappeared one day people might be upset or scared for a while but in the end they'd all move on with life and forget her. It was heartbreaking for her that the people who are meant to love you forever would be told, 'you can't stop your life because they're gone, they would want you to keep living'.

Robin hauled herself into a corner and closed her eyes. Gripping at her arms, trying to warm them by rubbing, was useless. Her apartment had seen better days. Days of light joy, when he was there to hold her. The whole place was left in a horrible state, smashed glasses and papers everywhere. She was uncontrollable at the moment, doing things before thinking. Not the in control Robin. She was used to sleeping uncomfortably, and the lack of sleep added to her troubles. She was crying, inside and out. As tears fogged up her eyes once more, she felt like there was nowhere to run to. She felt as if she'd never be happy again. The way everything she'd ever loved could just leave her was painful. She wanted back what she had lost.

The worst thing was, to everyone else, she was just fine. Fake smiles to cover unspoken feelings. She'd wake up in the morning, haul herself into the shower and sort her hair. She'd try to cover her face with make-up and she'd dress well. She'd get to work on time, read all the stupid stories and make an excuse to get back quickly. Then Robin would get home. And nobody could know.

Her brain was a mess, like her disfigured face from tears. She'd tried running away, but she didn't know what from or where to. Her mascara had run leaving her eyes look dull and give her black patches. Slowly, she let out another reserved breath. It was shaky, heavy and long. She could barely control herself. She was a wreck and although she tried to stop crying, she could not. Her eyes flowed heavily and her lips curled into a frown. Now and then they'd quiver. She felt horrible as she sat, surrounded by pictures and memories of her and her friends. Smiles. She'd give anything to see them but she knew she couldn't for their sakes. She wore jeans, torn from the amount of times she'd just thrown them on again, her big jumper and bare feet on the carpet.

She was rotting from the inside, nothing to long for anymore. Pink cheeks were now ruined, smudged and wet. She sniffed. Her mind was racing, thinking about memories. Old times. Magical moments. Everything they'd shared together. It was as if the world was crumbling at it's core. Falling away, sucking everything good out of her. She had no strength, her mind filled hopelessly with longing for something good. She cried heavily, faster, sobbing. She was hungry, starving but could not bring herself to eat, getting skinner by the day. She was so tired, her blood shot eyes red and her body aching constantly all over. Sleeping only resulted in nightmares, horrible visions. The nightmares were terrifying and she always woke up screaming. Except it wasn't really bad dreams. Just like deja-vu. Bad things she'd already experienced in the flesh. Whenever her and Barney had shared a bed, big protective arms like barriers around her, she slept so peacefully. Never crying, screaming out. She missed the humor along with the emotionally immature ways. The times that he'd made her scream, cry. She'd give anything for a fight right now, because they always made up. Just to be able to feel would be brilliant. She just wanted emotion back in her life like they'd always given her.

The sound of the dripping started to irritate her and she reached to block her ears. She looked up seeing the table. On the table was a piece of paper, a pencil, a few pictures of her and her friends and her favorite gun. Robin reached out with a shaky hand, to get a grip on something. She picked up the pencil and put it to the paper. She wrote shakily, 'To whom it may concern' but then her writing stopped because she was crying too hard. Her tears were running down her face, hitting the paper in big splashes. She didn't know what to write next because who actually cares? Lily had Marshall, Ted had his search for the love of his life and Barney had... every girl in the world.

She didn't even know what to write now. She tried to think of a name to write. Mum? Dad? Barney? But then she knew what to write. A sentence for everyone. And the words were scribbled because she couldn't see through the wetness of her eyes.

'Dear everyone who I've ever loved.

To Mum, I'm sorry we drifted apart over the years. To Dad, I'm sorry I was a daughter not a son. To Katie, you are going to be a brilliant young lady. To Derek, Bob, Mike, Gael, PJ, George, Curt, Max, Sandy, Mitch, Stan, Ian, Dale, Brad and Nate thanks for brilliant times. To everyone at work, thank you for helping me towards my dreams. To Simon, I hope you and Louise Marsh are okay. To Kevin, I'm sorry for everything. To Nick, I hope you're having a happy life. To Don, sorry for all the calls but good luck. To Jessica, I'm glad we could make up. To Marvin, I hope you grow up happy with your amazing parents. To Marshall, you are fantastic and caring and thank you for the times you've been there. I'm sorry we were never as close as I'd liked. To Lily, you are the most beautiful, sweetest, bestest friend a girl could ask for, you're practically a sister. If I ever got married, you would be my maid of honor. To Ted, you will find her, so never ever give up. You are brilliant man and thank you for teaching me to love. To Barney, bye. To me, I'm sorry...'

The gun looked so inviting. Shooting targets just wasn't enough anymore. Her hand reached out for it. It was freezing and heavy as she lifted it. Slowly she fired a shot at the lamp. A shatter of glass, a dim of light. Quickly, Robin began to shake. With two hands clutched around the gun she pressed the barrel of the gun to her temple. She took frantic breaths, like her oxygen levels were dropping. She couldn't do this. She was desperately trying to steady herself but she couldn't at all. But then it all stopped.

"What are you doing Robin?" she heard the voice clear and loud. It was perfect as always, seductive but broken. She looked up.

He was standing there in the room, his shoulders rising with each intake of air, studying her carefully.

"How long have you been there?" she croaked.

"Long enough."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came here to tell you something."

"Oh.." she said calmly.

"Put the gun down Robin." She instantly sensed the fear in his voice.

"Why?.." she laughed. They both thought she'd gone mad, crazy, a little drunk maybe. The empty bottles of scotch everywhere were a big clue.

Barney sighed and took a deep breath. "Please, Robin. Please."

She didn't want to do this anymore. She never thought about leaving everyone like this. Especially with him right there. It would be so easy to let herself go. Everyone would be so much happier. She could just pull back the trigger and be lost. That would be it. The end.

"Robin don't you dare-" he pleaded, tears filling his eyes. "Don't you dare."

"Nobody would miss me. They'd forget about little old me." she uttered, her small voice plain and broken. Her whole body began shaking madly.

"I wouldn't, not ever." he croaked, looking at her deep in the eyes. It was clear he was crying as the words got caught in his throat and he reached over further. Inching forward slowly, he kept his watery blue eyes on her. Their hearts were pounding.

"Really?" she sniveled as the gun pressed into her head. She was so close to pulling the trigger. They studied each others faces intently.

He was just so perfect. His coat, the long coat hanging around his frame. His cheeks were flushed, and his lips arched into a perfect smile to comfort her. His eyes, his beautiful eyes were glossy and dripping with tears. This hurt her so badly, watching him like this.

She was just so perfect. Even in her fragile, broken state she looked so breathtakingly beautiful. Her hair balanced just above her shoulders, her eyes were glossy and amazing. Her clothes hung around her loosely. It hurt him so badly, watching her like this.

"Of course Robin." he smiled. He began wiping the tears that he'd only just realized had fallen out of his eyes with a sleve. Her heart was pounding like a drum in her ears, sweat in her clammy palm.

"But I want to do this Barney." she whimpered convincing herself that she did.

"You don't! You don't want to!" he cried out to her, a hand extended.

"It'd stop the pain." she said, sweat trickling down her wrists as the thoughts of blackness impaled her brain.

"Not for us. Think about everyone you'll leave behind. Think about me."

"I always think about you." she said weeping and beginning to loose control of the gun. "I think about you every minute of everyday."

"I think about you too, more than you know."

"What about all the other girls?"

"I've told you once, I'll tell you again. You're not just another number to me."

"But.." she said softly. "Why shouldn't I just die?"

"Think about it, maybe theres something left to live for?" She looked him deep in the eyes, her vision slightly blurred from scotch and tears. Something inside her was screaming, don't let this be the last time you see him. Because she knew she loved him. His eyes burned into her soul, printing into her heart, sending a flood of memories back at her.

_"Guess who nailed the chick from Metro News One last night?" _

_"Ouchy in my mouth ... I don't want it. I want ice cream." _

_"With you the trouble doesn't seem so troubling." _

_"When I let a day go by without talking to you, that day's just no good." _

_"You're an idiot." _

_"Holy crap, you're beautiful." _

_"Look at her- she's the greatest woman on the planet." _

_"You saucy little minx, you sundressed up." _

_"One for the road." _

_"You're not just another number to me." _

_"You're the most amazing, strong, independent woman I've ever banged." _

_"I've seen Barney work hard to get women, I've seen him work hard to get rid of women, I've never seen him work this hard to keep one around." _

_"You make a good bro." _

_"I haven't stopped thinking about you and you haven't stopped thinking about me." _

_"No, no, no, no. Barney and I are not together." _

_"You're the most awesome person I've ever met." _

And then it her like a ton of bricks.

"You're right. I have something to live for."

Robin wiped a tear away with her free hand, threw the gun away across the floor and took a deep breath. Barney stepped forward slowly, reaching for her hand.

He knew in that moment that he would do anything for her. He would love her till the end of the earth. He would always find her beautiful. He would listen to her past and tell her it'll be okay. He would love her in silence because he knew that's the last thing she needed. He'd hold on forever, but never push her into it. He would let his heart break a thousand times over, if it meant excruciating pain for him, because her heart was already broken and empty. She longed for happiness and she had none. He needed to fix Robin Scherbatsky.

And then she took his hand and they made contact. He pulled her up fast and pulled her into him desperately. And she sobbed and wailed deep into his chest, hands grabbing at him. He gripped her equally as tight, feeling her heart against his. He gently stroked her silky brunette hair, and let it fall though his fingers. She wasn't so cold anymore, his heat filling her body and mind. He hugged her, tighter than ever before, tears dripping onto her shoulder. Inhaling she noticed Barney's masculine scent and fell further into him, her fingers gripping his shirt. After a long hug and a kiss on the forehead, they pulled apart slightly. She stared into his beautiful, moist, blue eyes and smiled. And he smiled back.

"Thank you," she cried over and over, holding his hands. "Thank you."

"I came here to tell you something."

"You did?"

"Yes. I'm going to fix you. I'll help you through all the pain. I'll be good to you. I'll give you everything you deserve. No matter what happens I will always be there with you when you need me. You are the most beautiful, awesome woman I have ever met. And I love you Robin Scherbatsky."

And there was silence. The warmth of each others presence. Him reaching to wipe a fresh tear trickling down her pink cheek. A big grin of red lips. A step closer. A soft moan as they touched.

"I love you Barney." Her eyes lit up, and she nodded.

All of a sudden she noticed a set of soft and moist lips pressed against hers. His hands were on her cheeks softly, rubbing with his thumb. And they were lost in embrace, the light pressure of her wonderful lips working on his. The smell of her skin as her hand grazed his skin. She could feel him smiling as his hands traced to her hips. Their bodies curved into each other and she was lifted slightly off her feet and into a deeper embrace. They moaned, Robin's hands stroking his neck, touching his hair. They were full of a burning passion. He moved a few strands of hair behind her left ear. Soft, gentle, warm, loving. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to them both. It had about as much enthusiasm as their first kiss. but with more meaning to it. He was her lifeline, the only thing to keep her sane. Feelings caressed their hearts, Robin's tears flowing faster than ever. They craved for each other. It was what they needed. She reached her arms around his neck and they fit like they always did. It was like they were made for each other.

They pulled apart, slowly, heavy breathing, a long sigh from Robin. She gazed up into his soft blue eyes. Her stomach had butterflies. Eyelids flew shut, eye lashes flickering. After all this time, he still had that effect.

"You're the someone I have left to live for." she admitted as he held her close.

Barney kissed her again and neither of them ever wanted it to stop. Robin's heart was leaping through hr chest. All she could think was. 'I want this, I've always wanted this because it's him. I have Barney Stinson back in my arms again.' For both of them it felt so right, there with his arms around her and their lips where they belonged.

Whatever was wrong, all the pain, the numbness, the cold and dark, all lifted because he was the antidote. She only needed him to be fixed. And she was okay. She was fine. She was happy.


End file.
